A brief guide to scientific literature | Weird

A brief guide to scientific literature

This satiric post features a selection of the most reliable and timely resources for searching the scientific literature.

literature

It has long been known == I haven’t bothered to check the references.

It is known == I believe.

It is believed == I think.

It is generally believed == My colleagues and I think.

There has been some discussion == Nobody agrees with me.

It can be shown == Take my word for it.

It is proven == It agrees with something mathematical.

Most Computer Illiterate People Ever

Of great theoretical importance == I find it interesting.

Of great practical importance == This justifies my employment.

Of great historical importance == This ought to make me famous.

Some samples were chosen for study == The others didn’t make sense.

Typical results are shown == The best results are shown.

Correct within order of magnitude == Wrong.

The values were obtained empirically == The values were obtained by accident.

The results are inconclusive == The results seem to disprove my hypothesis.

Additional work is required == Someone else can work on the details.

It might be argued that == I have a good answer to this objection.

The investigations proved rewarding == My grant has been renewed.

Synthesized according to standard protocols == Purchased.

You may also like...

Log In

Forgot password?

Forgot password?

Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password.

Your password reset link appears to be invalid or expired.

Log in

Privacy Policy

Add to Collection

No Collections

Here you'll find all collections you've created before.