1. What’s the distinction between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A man will really seek for a golf ball.
2. What does the signal on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.
3. Why was the guitar instructor arrested?
For fingering a minor.
4. What’s the distinction between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The opposite’s an ideal 12 months.
5. Why does Santa Claus have such an enormous sack?
He solely comes yearly.
6. What’s the distinction between a hooker and a drug vendor?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
7. What do the Mafia and pussies have in widespread?
One slip of the tongue, and also you’re in deep shit.
8. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!
9. Why does Dr. Pepper are available in a bottle?
As a result of his spouse died.
10. What’s the perfect half about intercourse with 28-year-olds?
There are twenty of them.
11. What’s the distinction between a pregnant lady and a lightbulb?
You may unscrew a lightbulb.
12. What do you name a lesbian dinosaur?
13. What’s the distinction between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait till you’re twelve earlier than it comes in your face.
14. What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in widespread?
The extra you play with it, the tougher it will get.
15. What does one saggy boob say to the opposite saggy boob?
If we don’t get some help, individuals will suppose we’re nuts.
16. What’s the perfect half about gardening?
Getting down and soiled along with your hoes.
17. How is a girlfriend like a laxative?
They each irritate the shit out of you.
18. What do you name the ineffective piece of pores and skin on a dick?
19. Why do vegetarians give good head?
Beause they’re used to consuming nuts.
20. What’s lengthy and onerous and stuffed with semen?
21. What’s the distinction between your spouse and your job?
After 5 years, your job will nonetheless suck.
22. Why do walruses love a tupperware social gathering?
They’re all the time looking out for a decent seal.
23. What’s the distinction between your boyfriend and a condom?
Condoms have advanced: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
24. Why did God give males penises?
So that they’d have a minimum of one technique to shut a lady up.
25. What’s the distinction between anal and oral intercourse?
Oral intercourse makes your day. Anal makes your gap weak.
26. What did the penis say to the vagina?
Don’t make me are available in there!
27. What do a lady and a bar have in widespread?
Liquor within the entrance, poker within the again.
28. What’s one other title for a vagina?
The field a penis is available in.
29. What’s the distinction between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The opposite watches your snatch.
30. What do you name two jalapeños getting it on?
31. How do you make your girlfriend scream throughout intercourse?
Name and inform her about it.
32. What’s the distinction between your dick and a bonus verify?
Somebody’s all the time prepared to blow your bonus.
33. How is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend makes it onerous.
34. Why do girls have orgasms?
Simply another excuse to moan, actually.
35. What do you name a man with a small dick?
36. What do you name a man with an enormous dick?
37. What do you name somebody who refuses to fart in public?
A non-public tutor.
38. What do you name a virgin mendacity on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
39. Know what a 6.9 is?
One other good factor screwed up by a interval.
40. How is sex like a game of bridge?
If in case you have an ideal hand, you don’t want a companion.
41. What do boobs and toys have in widespread?
They have been each initially made for teenagers, however daddies find yourself enjoying with them.
42. What do you name a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin’ off.
43. What did the O say to the Q?
Dude, your dick’s hanging out.
44. What do you get while you combine contraception and LSD?
A visit with out children.
45. What did the sanitary serviette say to the fart?
You’re the wind beneath my wings.
46. What’s the distinction between a lady with PMS and a terrorist?
You may negotiate with a terrorist.
47. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As quickly as you open it, you understand it’s half empty.
48. How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which interval it got here from.
49. How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister within the jaw.
50. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Maintain on to your nuts, this ain’t no bizarre blowjob.