In every millennial’s life, there is that one day and that one time that you say something to yourself or out loud and then stop for a second in awe. Whatever the sentence was, you couldn’t have imagined saying it unless, well, you’re middle-aged. Be it “I am looking forward to going to bed” or “Why is the music so loud in here?!” and then all of a sudden, the moment of realization hits and the lightbulb switches on: I am definitely ageing. And before you change your mind from getting takeout to actually going home and cooking the chicken that’s been sitting in your fridge for a few days now, take a look at the list below of the best things people have caught themselves saying that made them realize they’re slowly knocking at the middle-aged people’s door.
The online community r/AskReddit, labelling themselves as “the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions,” was a perfect platform for the user naxxfish to fire it out to the millennials: “What was the most middle-aged thing you caught yourself saying recently?” And, well, the answers were ranging from hilarious to hysterical to “I can actually totally relate.” Vote for your favorite ones and let us know yours!
More info: Reddit
You want to go out for dinner? Oh no, I can’t; I have chicken in the fridge that I have to cook before it goes bad
Image credits: MehMeh0003
I slept wrong and haven’t been able to turn my head for three days.
Image credits: Dangerous_Effort3355
Why is the music so loud in here?!
Image credits: LexiMarthaStewart
Wanted to buy a snack and then thought, “no, I have food at home”
Image credits: saugoof
Scrolling through my Spotify and constantly asking who the hell are these people?
Image credits: 426763
Calling a 21 year-old guy a “kid”.
Image credits: Gexmnlin13
That’s a nice box, keep it.
Image credits: Lostinmoderation
I was eating lunch with a coworker last week and she was bitching about the weird clothes her parents wore in high school. Jincos, wallet chains like 4 ft long, some other stuff, but as I’m listening to her I realize that she’s describing my high school experience so I ask her, how old are your parents?
“Ugh they’re 40!”
….I’m 37, turning 38 in two weeks.
After I told her that we both got really quiet and changed the subject.
Someone please help me. I’m not ready for this.
“Oh no thank, you. I can’t have caffeine this late in the day or I’ll never get to sleep tonight.”
My spouse was offering me the last soda from the fridge. It was 1pm.
Image credits: FriendlyFishstix
Had a riveting conversation with some friends about the best office chairs for lumbar support.
Image credits: TopMacaroon
I’m 38, unmarried, child-free. And it blows my mind I could be the mother of a an an elder teenager if I had children when I was younger. I just don’t see myself as that old yet.
Image credits: SolunaJune
I slapped a crate I had strapped onto the back of my car and said “This isn’t going anywhere”
Image credits: jeezyjames
“No, I’m okay. It just takes my back a little while to loosen up in the morning.”
Image credits: tenpiecelips
Not something I said but I just stood out on my porch this morning drinking my coffee and someone drove by pretty fast and I thought “that’s way too fast”
Image credits: TwiggyStarburst
“I can’t have curry after 6 or I’ll have heartburn all night.”
Image credits: oikorapunk
Quit touching the god damn thermostat, you’re driving the bill up.
Image credits: trippedwire
That classic “dad groan” when standing up
Image credits: bobanders420
I tried listening to the iTunes top 100 yesterday for a change of pace and it all sounded like hot garbage, “WHAT ARE KIDS EVEN LISTENING TO THESE DAYS?!”
Image credits: HeckinAdult
In a conversation with a friend “I managed to find a really good knife block recently…”
Image credits: naxxfish
I can’t fix one thing in my house without at least 15 minutes of complaining about the previous owners handiwork.
My knees hurt.
Image credits: nefariosinsomniac
I am looking forward to going to bed.
Image credits: TwoDaysInOklahoma
I was venting to a coworker about these noisy bastards living next to me. I actually said the words, “goddamn teenagers and their Bluetooth machines”. I stand by my admonition but man it was my greatest age leap forward since I embraced the sensible Toyota.
“They just don’t make them like they used to” them being good wood dressers
My housemate: you want a drink?
Me: Nah, man. I haven’t had a drink in… six months maybe? More?
My housemate: You stopped drinking?
Me: I’m not SOBER or anything, it’s just that alcohol makes me sleepy.
When my wife asked if there was anything she need to pick up at the store, and I responded: “I think we’re out of asparagus.”
Not sure what foul demon possessed me to to say those words.
Some kids ran through my lawn the other day. I’m still recovering.
I had my bachelor party in Vegas recently.
I went to bed because I was tired, not because I was sloppy drunk like every other time I went to Vegas. Fml I’m old now
Why do I get up every day and crack like a glow stick with out the glow it’s so disappointing.
“When you leave a room, turn the light OFF!”
I’ve become my dad…..
“Can the kids (in the park outside) shut up”
I am the grumpy old lady now.
“I will never financially recover from this”
Said after turning off yet another light left on in my home