111 Slick Willy – Invoice Clinton Jokes

1) It isn’t frequent information that Slick Willie tried to get into the
Military as an 8F – in case of an enemy invasion, he’d be despatched abroad!

2) Slick Willy is for increased studying. He desires to subsidize
‘coaching bras’.

3) I do not need to say that Willy is Slick, however he satisfied Mario
Cuomo that capital punishment is appropriate ONLY if it isn’t too
extreme.

4) Hillary has all the time been spouting off on the mouth. Till she was 6
months outdated, her dad and mom had been diapering the fallacious finish!

5) When Slick Willy was a child, he bawled all night time. Now solely the
spelling has been modified.

6) One night time, when Slick Willy was in mattress with Jennifer Flowers, he
heard the entrance door open. Jennifer rapidly mentioned “That should be my
husband, … go sooner …. I am coming … I am coming” Slick Willy
rapidly added “Kiss my ass, I am going … I am going”

7) The polls present that Slick Willy is likely to be president. I do not need
to say it might be a tough financial system however I simply noticed a squirrel bury 4
acorns and a can of sterno.

8) Hillary discovered Slick Willy in mattress with one other lady and angrily
requested “What the hell are you doing?”. Slick Willy checked out her with
disgust, then appeared down at his bimbo and mentioned “Did not I let you know she
was silly?”

9) Hillary comes house at some point to seek out Slick Willy in mattress with a
midget. Her face turns into contorted (greater than it normally is) when she
screams “You promised you’d by no means cheat on me once more.” Slick Willy
innocently seems to be up at her and replies “Cannot you see I am making an attempt to
taper off”.

10) Hillary confides to Tipper that Slick Willy has lower her right down to
intercourse two occasions a month. Tipper says to her “Do not feel too unhealthy, I do know
a lady he lower out fully.”

11) In sizing up the worldwide financial system, Slick Willy mentioned, “There’s
nothing costlier than a lady who’s free for the night.”

12) Slick Willy is so politically right his favourite shade is plaid!

13) Slick Willy was talking in entrance of a gaggle of small enterprise
house owners and says “Bear in mind, we had been placed on this earth to assist OTHERS”,
to which one of many house owners replies, “And what had been the OTHERS put right here
for?”

14) Slick Willy is like an unemployed schoolteacher? No class and no
priciples!

15) In his highschool 12 months e book, Slick Willy was chosen because the “Boy
Most Probably To”

16) Slick Willy should be with the key service…he is all the time
undercover”

17) What is the distinction between a useless canine in the midst of the highway
and a useless liberal? There are skid marks in entrance of the useless
canine…..

18) What did Slick Willy whisper to Jennifer Flowers in regards to the
Martin Luther King vacation? “Shoot 4 extra and we’ll take the entire
week off”

19) what occurred when Slick Willy went swimming within the ocean
– OIL SLICK!!!

20) Why is the democratic occasion like granola? Trigger when you get
handed all of the fruits and the nuts, all you could have left is the flakes!

21) Slick Willy stopped calling Hillary “the little lady” as soon as she
began calling him “the massive mistake”.

22) Slick Willy takes Hillary out each night time…however she retains coming
again.

23) Slick Willy is a man who’d love to do all of the issues Hillary
thinks he does.

24) Slick Willy’s not a ‘yes-man’. When Hillary says “no”, he says
“no”.

25) When Slick Willy married Hillary, he misplaced his liberty in pursuit
of happiness.

26) They are saying “It is a priviledge to have the ability to pay taxes”. If Slick
Willy turns into president, I should quit the priviledge.

27) I constructed a enterprise in order that my youngsters would sometime take it over.
Nonetheless, if Slick Willy is elected, the federal government will definitely
beat my youngsters to it.

28) Slick Willy will lastly put poverty inside our attain!

29) “Do not postpone till tomorrow what you are able to do right this moment”. In spite of everything,
Slick Willy could have a tax on it by then.

30) Slick Willy simply invented a brand new drink known as the `tax cocktail’.
After an extramartial associate drinks two of them, she withholds
nothing…

31) Slick Willy plans to lick inflation. In response to Jennifer
Flowers, it is the one factor left for him to lick.

32) Slick Willy is the flower of manhood – he is a blooming fool!

33) I would not say that Hillary is rotten, however you get the sensation Eva
Braun did not die in that bunker.

34) They as soon as caught Slick Willy skinny dipping within the pool – the
secretarial pool that’s….

35) If Slick Willy turns into president, `going-out-of-business’ shops
will!

36) A really involved Slick Willy as soon as mentioned to his lady buddy’s
obstetrician “Inform me the reality physician, how lengthy do I’ve to go away
city?’

37) Slick Willy as soon as obtained crushed up for kissing the bride. It was
three years after the ceremony.

38) Slick Willy as soon as advised Al Bore “I am going to sleep with wealthy or poor women
anyplace and anytime”. Al asks “What is the distinction?” Slick Willy
says “Properly, these which might be poor, I assist out”.

39) Slick Willy known as an electrician to do some house repairs and
discovered that he charged $85 per hour. Slick Willy mentioned “Eighty-five
{dollars} an hour? I by no means made that a lot even after I was governor” The
electrician replied “Neither did I when YOU had been governor….!!

40) With Mario Cuomo’s legislative report on abortion, when he goes to
confession, he brings his lawyer! (I do know. These are purported to be
Slick Willy jokes… I am sorry … my thoughts wandered …)

41) If George Bush had been to say “Hear, America. Alternative is
knocking”, Slick Willy would complain in regards to the noise.

42) Slick Willy has invented a brand new antiperspirant – unemployment!!

43) When Slick Willy was requested how he felt about lesbians, he mentioned “I
do not know, I’ve by no means been to Beirut.”

44) You possibly can all the time inform when Slick Willy is mendacity….his lips are
shifting.

45) Slick Willy as soon as remarked incredulously “If George Washington
by no means advised a lie, HOW did he develop into president?”

46) When Slick Willy turns into president, he’ll make us all `faucet dancers
within the canoe of life’.

47) Teddy’s new boat was brilliant blue
Had a date with a maiden he knew
The coroner discovered
The poor lady had drowned
Kissing Ted in his leaky canoe!! (oops,my thoughts wandered once more!)

48) Sad on the state of little Slick Willy’s room, his mom got here
up with a brand new rule: Each time she picked one thing up, he would have
to pay her a dime. On the finish of the primary week she added up the
chores and requested Slick Willy for ninety cents. He paid her and mentioned
“Thanks Ma …. Sustain the nice work….”

49) Slick Willy guarantees UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICES WITH VALET PARKING.

50) Do not let anyone child you. Slick Willy’s been in love with the
identical lady for years. But when Hillary ever finds out, she’ll kill
him…

51) Slick Willy all the time has mentioned “It’s higher to have liked and
misplaced…. significantly better……”

52) Slick Willy and Hillary had been `driving the hobbyhorse’ one night time and
each observed there was a scarcity of mutual enthusiasm. After some time
Slick Willy mentioned “What is the matter Hillary … cannot you consider
anyone both?”

53) A household in Slick Willy’s Arkansas lastly discovered why that they had
bother maintaining with the Joneses – the Joneses had been on welfare.

54) After Slick Willy turns into president they will be a number of issues
your cash cannot purchase – like what your cash purchased every week in the past.

55) Slick Willy mentioned to a gaggle of businessmen, “After I was a child, I
needed to be a pirate.” They cheered in unison “Congratulations!”

56) Slick Willy’s obtained property in Atlantic Metropolis. A motel nonetheless has
one among his luggage.

57) A prostitute met ninety-year-old Slick Willy at a bar. In ordinary
type, he requested her if she needed to have some enjoyable. She mentioned “Oh come
on, you have had it.” He replied “Okay, how a lot do I owe you?”

58) Slick Willy, in defending his overseas insurance policies, says “I understand how
to deal with the Arabs”. A reporter asks “What would you do with the
Bedouins?”. Slick Willy replies “The Bedouins we oppose …. the
Goodouins we assist.”

59) Slick Willy needed Hillary in his arms, however as an alternative, discovered her on
his arms.

60) The psychiatrist waited till His Royal Slickness was comfy
on the sofa, then mentioned “Why do not you begin at first…”
Slick Willyy mentioned “OK. To start with, I created the heavens and
the earth…..”

61) The aircraft landed. Slick Willy, whereas strolling down the cell
steps, appeared on the panorama and remarked “I’ve by no means seen such
utter devastation. It is wonderful what a hurricane can do.” The pilot
mentioned “Governor, we had been in Homestead yesterday, that is Arkansas.”

62) If Slick Willy turns into president, many individuals will likely be prepared to
commerce their checks for the withholding.

63) If Slick Willy by no means inhaled, why is Hillary measuring the
presidential chair for a seat belt.

64) You possibly can’t name Slick Willy an inexpensive politician. He price his state
a fortune.

65) Slick Willie is more than pleased to face on his report. That method,
no one can see it.

66) Slick Willy is simply the person to get the nation shifting. If he
wins, I am shifting.

67) Slick Willy and Hillary had simply consummated their marriage.
Hillary requested Willy “Was I the primary?”. He replied “Why does
everyone ask me that query!”

68) A conductor went down the aisle of the practice shouting “Change for
Marietta…Change for Marietta”. A really younger Slick Willy mentioned “I
do not know who this Marietta is, however I am going to throw in 1 / 4 for her.”

69) They now have a practice that may go 200 miles an hour via
Arkansas. Contemplating the outcomes of the Slick Willy governorship,
that is not a nasty solution to undergo Arkansas.

70) Hillary has the look that turns heads ….. and stomachs too …

71) A younger black woman discovered herself in a fragile situation. Going
to see Slick Willy, the daddy, she mentioned, “In the event you do not marry me, I am going to
kill myself.” To which his grand slickness replied “That is very good
of you.”

72) Slick Willy’s `new covenant’ clearly accepts all denominations –
tens, twenties, fifties, ………….

73) When Chelsea was born to Hillary and Slick Willy, he requested “What
makes you suppose she’s going to be a liberal democrat?” Hillary
replied “Trigger such as you, she says so many issues that sound nice and
imply nothing.”

74) Many democrats in congress are calling it quits – there’s nothing
left to steal….

75) Slick Willy’s shades had been falling quick
When for a kiss he requested her
She should have mentioned “sure” as a result of
Willy’s shades got here down a lot sooner

76) Success hasn’t modified Slick Willy. He is nonetheless the identical awful
womanizing bum he is all the time been ….

77) Do you know that Slick Willy as soon as obtained a hernia throughout a
consciousness- elevating session?

78) Slick Willy and Al Bore nonetheless have not realized {that a} “communist”
is someone who has nothing and desires to share it with you.

79) Slick Willy abruptly began to really feel a ache in his groin. After
analyzing him, the physician mentioned, “How usually do you make love?” Slick
Willy says “Three or 4 occasions a day with varied extramarital
beauties and perhaps twice every week with Hillary.” The physician says
“You are going to should decelerate. Why do not you begin by chopping
out Hillary.” Slick Willy replies “Rattling it, I am unable to do this. If I do,
I am going to should make her Secretary of State.”

80) Little identified reality: When Slick Willy went on jury obligation they discovered
him responsible…..

81) When Slick Willy was a teen, he had an inferiority advanced –
that was the final time he was proper about something!

82) For each lady that has made a idiot out of Slick Willy, there’s
one other lady who has made a idiot out of Slick Willy.

83) There are as many Slick Willys as there are whores to explain
him.

84) If Slick Willy had his life to reside over, he should not!

85) It is too unhealthy Slick Willy has by no means had an X-ray. That method even
his supporters would be capable of see via him…

86) Have you ever observed that Vilhelm Von Slick Willy is all the time hoarse.
That is as a result of he tries to show he’s proper by being fallacious on the high
of his lungs.

87) Slick Willy has promised to make us all upstanding residents.
He’ll take our furnishings too!

88) Slick Willy has one thing in frequent with Adolf Hitler – they solely
name Dial-A-Prayer to see if they’ve any messages….

89) On this image we see Slick Willy and Al Bore working collectively
for the primary time as members of the identical tug-of-war staff – they’re
the first and 2nd jerks from the best.

90) Slick Willy has admitted “I am glad Hillary has joined the feminist
motion. Now she complains about all males, not simply me!

91) Throughout a feminist demonstration, one feminazi was screaming “Free
Ladies! … Free Ladies!” Slick Willy, who occurred to be working his
method via the group, requested her quietly “Do you ship?”

92) Slick Willy has been giving George Bush the advantage of his
inexperience.

93) Hillary wasn’t born yesterday. No person may get that ugly in 24
hours.

94) Slick Willy says to Al Bore, “I am unable to break Hillary of the behavior
of staying up till 5 within the morning.” “What does she do?”, Al asks.
“Waits for me to get house”, Slick Willy solutions.

95) If Slick Willy turns into president, he’ll undoubtably rent a
lovely secretary and make her the thing of a presidential probe.”

96) Slick Willy loves hi-tech computer systems. He all the time has his Wang in
his hand….

97) Slick Willy thinks Catholics are inferior
But, to win, he wants JFK’s inside
“I am going to get that vote”
Slick Willy wrote
“If I’ve to sleep with the Mom Superior”
(and he in all probability has).

98) When Hillary was in faculty, her mom mentioned to her, “Do not play
with boys, they’re too tough”. Hillary replied “Don’t be concerned mom,
I’ve discovered a teflon one.”

99) As a enterprise man, Slick Willy worries me. He thinks Dun &
Bradstreet is an intersection!

100) Tipper Bore says to Hillary, “Hey, I like your new panties and
bra”. Hillary replies “Yeah, they’re good, Slick Willy obtained ’em for
me”. Tipper says “Have been they a suprise?” Hillary says “They certain
had been…I got here house…and there they had been, hanging over a chair within the
bed room…

101) Slick Willy was discussing his wholesome intercourse life with Al Bore, the
environmental whacko, and Al, after listening to all the sordid particulars
curiously askes Slick Willy, “Do you ever speak to Hillary after intercourse”
… Slick Willy says, “No, however I may, I’ve her workplace telephone
quantity…”

102) Sooner or later Slick Willy was studying the newspaper. Hillary walked
over and, noticing an image of Jennifer Flowers, broke into tears.
Slick Willy broke down and admitted having an affair. Nonetheless, to
soften the blow, he confirmed Hillary the adjoining column which featured
an image of Bush’s supposed extramarital associate. After trying again
and forth on the two photos, she checked out Slick Willy as soon as once more
and mentioned “I like ours higher….”

103) Sooner or later Slick Willy admitted to Al Bore “My spouse Hillary is such
a liar.” Al Bore mentioned “What did she do?” Slick Willy mentioned “She advised me
she was with Jennifer Flowers all night time final night time.” Al mentioned “How do
it was a lie?” Slick Willy mentioned “As a result of I spent final night time
with Jennifer Flowers.”

104) Slick Willy says to Hillary, “Hear pricey, I am having an
affair…” To which Hillary replies, “Actually?…. Who’s catering it?
…..”

105) What is the distinction between Slick Willy’s platform and a messy
room? …… You possibly can straighten up a messy room.

106) When Slick Willy was lately requested in regards to the new abortion invoice,
he mentioned, “Ah thought Ah paid it!”

107) Slick Willy totally helps the feminist motion in America
as a result of “It provides all them babes one thing to do of their spare time.”

108) What does Slick Willy have in frequent with Seven-Up?………..
By no means had it, by no means will….

109) Al Bore has remoted the reason for sickle-cell anemia? It is from
the glue on meals stamps! Good job, Al….

110) Know why Slick Willy has no freckles?…. they slid off ….

111) The most important joke of all – Slick Willy as president. There’s
nothing funnier (besides the naive jerks that vote for him). On second
thought, perhaps it isn’t so humorous!?

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