1. Only in
America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America……are there handicap
parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America……do
drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America……do people
order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America……do banks
leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America……do we leave
cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America……do we use
answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from
someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America……do we buy
hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America……do we use
the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and
‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
10. Only in America……do they
have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
11. Only in America……can a
homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White