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Ways to Say You’re Not So Bright

As thick as two short planks.
Hasn’t got all his chairs at home.
Daft as a brush.
Doolally Tap.
He’s up the pole.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
He has an IQ of room temperature.
Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.
Another 404
He couldn’t drive a red hot nail into a block of butter with a frying pan