How many times a week do you think your best friend has sex? It’s a strange thing to imagine, but it’s the kind of question that Ipsos researchers asked many volunteers.
The results? Most people – men in particular – overestimate the frequency with which others have sex in relation to themselves. Bobby Duffy, social scientist and author of Perils of Perception, undresses and addresses this “remarkable mistake” in a BBC article.
“As part of Ipsos’ long-term studies, we asked the British and the United States to guess how often people aged 18 to 29 in their country had sex in the past four weeks. .
The average young male in both countries is that they have had sex 14 times in the last month. However, according to in-depth surveys of sexual behavior, the actual number is only five in Britain and four in the United States. ”
“Our hypothesis would mean that on average, young men have sex every other day – about 180 times a year – compared to the more mundane reality of nearly 50 times.”
But that’s not even our biggest mistake. As Duffy goes on to say, “Men are even more wrong to guess the sex lives of young women in both the United States and Britain.”
Men think that young women have sex 22 times a month in Britain and 23 times a month in the United States. But in reality, it’s about five times.
Why is there such a gap? Duffy says this might be due to his secret: “Unlike many other basic human behaviors, where we can get a better sense of social norms through observation, sex happens mostly behind well-closed doors.” BBC).
“Because we do not have access to much real comparative information, we turn to other” authoritative “sources: on-court or locker room discussions, questionable investigations, salacious media coverage, and pornography. These provide extreme examples and zany anecdotes that distort our view of reality. ”
He adds that cultural influences encourage women to minimize the number of men they slept with and encourage men to strengthen their own account, a phenomenon that The Atlantic and Salon have both explored in detail, thus breaking down myths. . women have less libido than men.
“Women’s sexuality is not the rational, civilized and balancing force it has so often claimed … it is low, animal and voracious, all we have said to each other about male sexuality” (Salon).
However, despite this, studies show that men make fewer choices than women when it comes to sleeping lightly, suggesting that even if women want to have sex just as much as men, they often have less sex. confidence in them.
The solution? Research and social psychologists agree that it is important to better understand each other’s desires so that women around the world feel more comfortable in “getting” them and for men. cease to be under pressure.