Terrified Woman

# Some of the scariest facts to give you goosebumps are

1. Bodies can burn for a loonngggg time (5 hours, sometime much longer), once our fat liquefies and turns into fuel (environmentally friendly!), and can provide the perfect amount of light to read a good book (from my own experience).

2. Ants outnumber people 1.5 million to one. Combined humans only started outweighing combined ants around the late 1700s. If ants learned to work together, we could have ant vs. human MMA fights on TV.

3. No one dies of “old age”. All deaths are either injury or illness. Old age is one or more organs failing, and then your body saying, “FINE!” and giving up.

4. When you die, the bacteria within you start eating you. The immune system is no longer protecting you. They produce a ton of gas while eating you. If your body hasn’t been punctured, you inflate like a balloon until “pop!”

5. Plane crashes have a 95.7% survival rate (the opposite of a scary fact! Tell your nervous aunt!)

5a. Sad fact! The 1996 Ethiopian airline hijacking resulted in a partially successful water-landing of a large aircraft (edit: not the only one in history). Unfortunately, the plane still sank, and panicked passengers inside inflated their life jackets too early, pinning them to the roof of the cabin and drowning them all.

5b. Statistically, able-bodied young men are the most likely to escape an aircraft. There have been numerous reports of investigators finding an elderly or overweight person collapsed in the aisle of a plane, with dozens of burned bodies stuck behind them.

6. The tarantula hawk’s sting is so painful, the advice is to lie down and scream so you don’t try to kill yourself.

7. The Great Filter is an idea in the Fermi Paradox (Fermi Paradox: “if intelligent life exists, why haven’t they contacted us?”). One of the explanations for this is the Filter: something is preventing life from evolving past a certain stage. Problem is, we don’t know if we’ve passed it yet. The discovery of life on Mars might be the worst news in human history, since the easier it is for primitive life to evolve, the more likely the Filter is in front of us, waiting to kill us all.

8. At a certain point within the radius of a black hole, the change in gravity is immensely stronger at even short distances. If an astronaut floated past the event horizon, the gravitational pull at his feet is so much stronger than the gravitational pull at his head, that he would get stretched into a single strand of atoms (spaghettification! cute word). It would also happen between the left and right sides of the body, so he looks more like a very flat, astronaut-colored piece of paper (#save the trees, use an astronaut)

9. Nearly 50% of all natural disaster related deaths are from flooding. 90% of US natural disasters are floods of some sort.

10. Sorry, fans of “burning people at the stake”. Smoke inhalation is not the primary cause of death, unless a big group of people are burned at the same time (like a tupperware party!). You’ll probably die from pulmonary edema (breathing in scalding air) or from shock.

11. I heard a statistic where self-inflicted gunshots to the head had a 50% chance of being fatal. Not so! Here’s a better indication: the Glasgow Coma Scale refers to a patient’s state of alertness during an emergency. Of patients suffering a gunshot to the head, if the GCS is above 8, there is a 91% chance of surviving. If it’s below 8, there’s a 2% chance of surviving. If you’re ever shot in the head, try your best to keep it above 8!

12. Scariest of all: 100% of best friends named ‘Nick’ are not forgiven for forgetting my birthday last year.