South Park Sayings South Park Quotes, South Park Quotations. Sayings and One-liners from popular TV show.
And now Best from South Park
Eric Cartman: Hippies. They’re everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.
Stan: Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly.
Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.
Chef: You know what they say: You can’t teach a gay dog straight tricks.
Stan: You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what’s going on in their kids’ lives, this world would be a much better place.
Kyle: I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.
The level at which South Park takes it’s detail is ridiculous , look at he audience
Satan: Without evil there could be no good, so it must be good to be evil sometimes.
Benjamin Franklin: I believe that if we are to form a new country, we cannot be a country that appears war-hungry and violent to the rest of the world. However, we also cannot be a country that appears weak and unwilling to fight, to the rest of the world. So, what if we form a country that appears to want both.
Thomas Jefferson: Yes, yes of course, we go to war and protest going to war at the same time….
Benjamin Franklin: And that means that as a nation, we could go to war with whomever we wished, but at the same time act like we didn’t want to. If we allow the people to protest what the government does, then the country will be forever blameless.
John Adams: It’s like having your cake and eating it too.
Anonymous Hick Redneck Founding Father: Think of it: an entire nation founded on saying one thing and doing another.
John Hancock: And we will call that country the United States of America.
Eric Cartman: Stan, don’t you know the first law of physics? Anything that’s fun costs at least eight dollars.
Chef: Don’t do drugs kids. There is a time and place for everything. It’s called college.
Kyle: Dude, Cartman, look! Your mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine.
Kyle: The fat bitch won’t let us.
Bus Driver: What did you say!?
Kyle: I said rabbits eat lettuce.
Sportscaster Frank: I haven’t seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant!
Sportscaster Frank: I haven’t seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938!
Cartman: Mom–Kitty is being a dildo.
Mrs. Cartman: Well, I know a little kitty who is sleeping with Mommy tonight.
Kyle: Kick the baby!
Ike: Don’t kick the goddamn’ baby.
Terrance: I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that you’re perfectly healthy. The bad news is that you have cancer.
Stan’s Mom: Stan, what did I tell you about watching the Osbournes? It’s going to make you retarded!
Cartman (on a goat sent to him and his friends by some kids in Afghanistan): It’s an Afghanistan goat, so it can’t stay here, or else it’ll choke on the sweet air of freedom.
Stan: I don’t want to shoot the bunny.
Uncle Jimbo: No nephew of mine is going to be a tree hugger.
Cartman: Yeah, hippie. Go back to Woodstock if you don’t want to shoot anything.
Other Mom: Can Eric spend the night?
Mrs. Cartman: No, I’m sorry, Eric is grounded for trying to exterminate the Jews last week.
Mr. Garrison: No, that’s wrong, Cartman. But don’t worry. There are no stupid answers, just stupid people.
Mr. Garrison: Gay people, well, gay people are EVIL. Evil right down to their cold black hearts which pump not blood like yours or mine, but rather–a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains; which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?
Eric Cartman: Attention shoppers! Outside today, we have a cripple fight. Cripple fight, outside!
Uncle Jimbo: Hell, everything’s legal in Mexico. It’s the American way!
Mr Garrison: Genetic engineering is man’s way of correcting God’s hideous mistakes, like German people.
Eric Cartman: I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about ‘protectin’ the earth’ and then drive around in cars that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets – I hate ’em! I wanna kick ’em in the nuts!
Mr. Garrison: Who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early ’60’s?
Cartman: A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods.
Mr. Garrison: Right. But who was the fattest, oldest skank on her period?
Eric Cartman: Well, I looked in my mom’s closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an UltraVibe Pleasure 2000.
Teacher: Kyle, concentrate!!!
Cartman: Maybe he should be sent to a concentration camp.