Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she’ll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married. A few months later, on his birthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down. Since they lived in theRead More →

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the California’s third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally… Scientists stumped. Authentic year 2000 “chad” sells at Sotheby’s for $4.6 million. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.) Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars canRead More →

SERVICE: "Ridge Hall computer assistance, may I help you?" CUSTOMER: "Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect." SERVICE: "What sort of trouble?" CUSTOMER: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." SERVICE: "Went away?" CUSTOMER: "They disappeared." SERVICE: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" CUSTOMER: "Nothing." SERVICE: "Nothing?" CUSTOMER: "It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type." SERVICE: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" CUSTOMER: "How do I tell?" SERVICE: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" CUSTOMER: "What’s a sea prompt?" SERVICE: "Never mind, can you moveRead More →