1. When you get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, officer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?” 2. When police officer asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race. 3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf. 4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to…… 5. Ask if you can see his gun. 6. When he says you aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger. 7. Touch him. 8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.Read More →

1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. 3. Aren’t you that guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must have been doin’ at least 120 mph to keep up with me…Good job! 5. Didn’t I see you get your ass kicked on COPS? 11. Excuse me…is stick up hyphenated? 12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend’s nightstand. 13. Is it true that people become cops because they’re too dumb to work at McDonald’s? 14. I pay your salary! 15. So, uh,Read More →