Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you’reRead More →

DEMOCRAT You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone. REPUBLICAN You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. You sell one, buy aRead More →

1. Take someone’s shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them’s cart 2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment 3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham 4. Go up to some old geezer & say “Grandpa!!! You’re ALIVE!!! It’s a MIRACLE!!! etc.” 5. Take something from someone else’s cart, when they say “hey, that’s mine! ” call the security and say that the other … person was trying to take your _____ 6. MoveRead More →