How much time U Spend on the Internet

1.    You find yourself typing `com` after every period when using a word processor.com
2.    You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
3.    Your start introducing yourself as `John at I-I-Net dot com.`
4.    Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
5.    All of your friends have an @ in their name.
6.    You can`t call your mother – she doesn`t have a modem.
7.    Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
8.    You laugh at people with 2400 modems.
9.    You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
10.    You refer to going to the bathroom as [downloading].
11.    You tell the cab driver you live at:
12.    Your spouse makes a new rule: `The computer cannot come to bed.`
13.    You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.
14.    You start tilting your head sideways to smile :-).
15.    You turn on your computer and turn off your spouse.
16.    Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat…”

Smart Blonde Woman

Smart Blonde Joke
Smart Blonde Joke

A smart blonde woman is driving along a country road, out in rolling hills of the Midwest, when she sees some movement off in the distance. As she gets closer, she realizes that it is another blonde woman in a rowboat in the middle of a field rowing the boat like crazy.

She stops her car at the side of the road and gets out. She yells out to the blonde in the rowboat, “What the &$%# are you doing?” The blonde in the boat, obviously flustered, yells back, “I have got to hurry up and get home in time for dinner or I will be in real trouble!”

The blonde at the side of the road is aggravated. “I can’t believe this! You are out in the middle of a field in a row boat! It’s blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! In fact, if I could swim, I would swim out there and kick your butt!”