An English man meets a Chinese woman

They fall in love and live a happy life in England. The woman, however cannot speak in English and has to have her husband translate for her. One day, the man was rather busy and asked her wife to make duck breast. She goes to the butcher but then realizes she doesn’t know how to tell him what she wants. As she is about to leave in embarrassment, she comes upon an idea. She points at her breasts, and the butcher understands, giving her the duck breast. On the next day, seeing how the previous day turned out, the man asked the woman to go to the butcher to get chicken legs. When she gets there, after a bit of thinking, raises her skirt and points at her thighs. The butcher gets the message and gives her the chicken legs. On the next day, the man asked the woman to go to the butcher to get sausages. Unable to think of anything, she decides to bring her husband to the butcher with her.

Upon arriving, the husband says "I would like some sausages please".

80 year old man and young bride

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.

"I’ve never been better!" he boasted. "I’ve got an 30 year old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day he went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No". The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That’s impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That’s kind of what I’m getting at…" replied the doctor.