A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.I had amnesia once – maybe twice.
All I ask is a chance to prove money can’t make me happy.The universe is a figment of its own imagination.
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Is there another word for synonym?Why don’t men often show their true feelings?
– Because they don’t have any.Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A: About 45 pounds!!Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don’t know. Never happens.Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and sufferingALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?
A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home.Q: What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.
Q: What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?
A: A box of quackers.
Time is a marvellous healer but is a complete failure as a beautician.When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s £1.50 per minuteNever let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s ownSon asks diff btw Confidence and Confidential
Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident.
Ur friend is also my son, thats ConfidentialI’ve used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A b*tch who knows everything.The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.