Funny Quotes About Politics and Politicians

Funny Quotes about politics and politicans. No one will really understand politics until they understand that politicians are not trying to solve our problems. They are trying to solve their own problems

In politics the middle way is none at all.

JOHN ADAMS, letter to Horatio Gates, Mar. 23, 1776

It takes a certain kind of man to be in politics–a small one.

CROFT M. PENTZ, The Complete Book of Zingers

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up in our politics and say definite things which mean something, or whether we shall always go on using generalities to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.

ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, My Day

Politics: the art of appearing candid and completely open while concealing as much as possible.

FRANK HERBERT, Chapterhouse: Dune

People talk about this being the most polarized time politically. I’ve read enough history to know what the Federalists said about the Republicans and the Republicans said about the Federalists during the founding of this country. Things are pretty tame compared with that. We haven’t seen one senator take a cane to another on Capitol Hill. Sure, there are divisions—heartfelt divisions. But I’d much rather see them on the airwaves or over the internet than in the streets.

CHRIS WALLACE, Playboy, Feb. 2012

There’s just one rule for politicians all over the world: Don’t say in Power what you say in Opposition; if you do, you only have to carry out what the other fellows have found impossible.

JOHN GALSWORTHY, Maid in Waiting

Politics is the soil in which the nettle of poisonous enmity, evil suspicions, shameless lies, slander, morbid ambitions, and disrespect for the individual grows rapidly and luxuriantly. Name anything bad in man and it is precisely in the soil of political struggle that it grows with particular liveliness and abundance.

MAXIM GORKY, Untimely Thoughts

If you do politics the right way, I believe, you can actually make people’s lives better. And integrity is the minimum ante to get into the game.

JOE BIDEN, Promises to Keep

What good would politics be, if it didn’t give everyone the opportunity to make moral compromises.

THOMAS MANN, The Magic Mountain

When a politician is in opposition he is an expert on the means to some end; and when he is in office he is an expert on the obstacles to it.

G. K. CHESTERTON, Illustrated London News, Apr. 6, 1918

When philosophers try to be politicians they generally cease to be philosophers.

WALTER LIPPMANN, A Preface to Politics

In politics, merit is rewarded by the possessor being raised, like a target, to a position to be fired at.

CHRISTIAN NESTELL BOVEE, Intuitions and Summaries of Thought

Not everybody is comfortable with the idea that politics is a guilty addiction. But it is. They are addicts, and they are guilty and they do lie and cheat and steal — like all junkies.

HUNTER S. THOMPSON, Better than Sex

It is always important in matters of high politics to know what you do not know. Those who think they know, but are mistaken, and act upon their mistakes, are the most dangerous people to have in charge.

MARGARET THATCHER, Statecraft: Strategies for a Changing World

What a wonderful magic politics is … it can recognize the truth and still override it, providing you can get a consensus among the people who matter.

K. J. PARKER, Evil for Evil

Precisely because our political speeches are meant to be reported, they are not worth reporting. Precisely because they are carefully designed to be read, nobody reads them.

G. K. CHESTERTON, “On the Cryptic and the Elliptic,” All Things Considered

A typical vice of American politics — the avoidance of saying anything real on real issues, and the announcement of radical policies with much sound and fury, and at the same time with a cautious accompaniment of weasel phrases each of which sucks the meat out of the preceding statement.

THEODORE ROOSEVELT, The Outlook, Jul. 27, 1912

There was an apathy beneath the empty passion-play of politics. The center had frayed like a rag rug that had been washed and walked on and shaken and hung and dried.

STEPHEN KING, The Gunslinger

The acid test of politics is not what you say at the hustings, but what you actually do in government.

MARGARET THATCHER, speech to Scottish Conservative Party Conference, May 12, 1979

Out of politics comes more uproar than progress. It is indeed surprising how little, comparatively, this noisy department of human affairs contributes to the world’s prosperity. Political commotions upon the grandest scale, political events of astounding suddenness, political characters of the greatest ability, abound, but still, permanent results are rare, and we look in vain for a measure of public good corresponding in extent to the hideous rout which ushers it in. Progress but turns upon its pillow, and goes to sleep again.

CHRISTIAN NESTELL BOVEE, Intuitions and Summaries of Thought

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

AESOP, Aesop’s Fables

In the struggle for supremacy the various political parties outdo each other in trickery, deceit, cunning, and shady machinations, confident that the one who succeeds is sure to be hailed by the majority as the victor. That is the only god–Success. As to what expense, what terrible cost to character, is of no moment.

EMMA GOLDMAN, Anarchism and Other Essays

I want nothing to do with politicians. Their hearts wither away, and die out of their bodies. Their consciences are turned to india-rubber, or to some substance as black as that, and which will stretch as much.

NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE, The American Notebooks, 1840

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.

MARGARET THATCHER, speech at Royal Albert Hall, May 20, 1965

The political arena leaves one no alternative, one must either be a dunce or a rogue.

EMMA GOLDMAN, “Anarchism: What It Really Stands For,” Anarchism and Other Essays

Political parties exist to secure responsible government and to execute the will of the people. From these great tasks both of the old parties have turned aside. Instead of instruments to promote the general welfare they have become the tools of corrupt interests, which use them impartially to serve their selfish purposes. Behind the ostensible government sits enthroned an invisible government owing no allegiance and acknowledging no responsibility to the people. To destroy this invisible government, to dissolve the unholy alliance between corrupt business and corrupt politics, is the first task of the statesmanship of the day.

THEODORE ROOSEVELT, speech, Aug. 1912

They have got a con game going on, a political con game, and you and I are in the middle. It’s time for you and me to wake up and start looking at it like it is, and trying to understand it like it is; and then we can deal with it like it is.

MALCOLM X, “The Ballot or the Bullet”, speech at Cory Methodist Church, Cleveland, Ohio, Apr. 3, 1964

Politics begin where the masses are, not where there are thousands, but where there are millions, that is where serious politics begin.

VLADIMIR LENIN, Report to Seventh Congress of the Russian Communist Party, March 7, 1918

Politics is concerned with herds rather than with individuals, and the passions which are important in politics are, therefore, those in which the various members of a given herd can feel alike.

BERTRAND RUSSELL, What Desires Are Politically Important?

And so it is in politics, dear brother,
Each for himself alone, there is no other.

GEOFFREY CHAUCER, The Canterbury Tales