Funniest Short Jokes – Quick Jokes

  • I was walking down the road when I saw a TV for sale in a shop window. The sign said “TV cheap, broken volume knob”. I thought to myself “wow, I can’t turn that down!”
  • I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.
  • I refused to believe my roadworker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
  • Whiteboards are remarkable.
  • Kleptomaniacs take things literally.
  • I used to think an ocean of soda existed, but it was just a Fanta sea.
  • Throwing acid is wrong, in some people’s eyes.
  • My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.
  • When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
  • You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.
  • I haven’t slept for three days, because that would be too long.
  • I don’t like cocaine. I just like the way it smells.
  • I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.
  • I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
  • The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself “This changes everything.”