A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying ‘boy was that fun.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
URGENT WARNING! Facebook now automatically scans your brain through your monitor. To block, go to kitchen, get aluminum foil, and wrap it around your head. Stay calm, and breathe through your left nostril ONLY. This is a serious problem and has been confirmed by a friend’s cousin’s girlfriend’s neighbour’s son’s baby’s mama and her pet chihuahua.
Life’s a bitch, if it were easy it’d be a slut.I’d call you a tool, but even THEY serve a purpose.
Death is life’s way of telling you that you’ve been fired. Suicide is your way to tell life,
“you can’t fire me, I Quit!”
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END
My mate changed his Facebook status to “suicidal, standing on the edge of a clifft” So i poked him…
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
Weird discovery of the day. If you type a word in Facebook (in a comment, status, etc.) that happens to be the same as your password, after you click “Share”, Facebook automatically converts it to asterisks to protect your security. Allow me to demonstrate. My password is *******