Conversation with a customs guy at airport

“What is your nationality?”
“Canadian.”
“You are Canadian?”
“My passport says so.”
“But where are you really from?”
“You mean, where do I live?”
“You don’t live in Canada?”
“No.”
“Oh, so where do you live?”
“Dhahran.”
“Tehran? You’re from Iran?”
“No, DHA-HA-RAN.”
“Where is that?”
“In Saudi Arabia.”
“Oh, you are Saudi Arabian?”
“No, I live there.”
“If you are not Saudi, so, where are you really from? I mean, originally.”
“You mean, where was I born?”
“Yes.”
“I was born in Calgary, Canada.”
“No, I mean, where is your family from? Where were they born?”
“They are from Hyderabad.”
“Where is that?”
“India.”
“Oh, you are Indian! So, why do you speak English with no accent?”
“What do you mean?”
“You speak American English.”
“I have gone to American schools.”
“In India?”
“No, in Saudi Arabia.”
“But you are Indian?”
“Yes, my family is from India.”
“India! I love India! The Hindus are such a beautiful religion of peace! But why do you have a Christian name, Sarah? Are you Christian?”
“No. Sarah is also a Muslim name.”
“Oh. You are Muslim? I thought you said you are Indian?”
“There are Muslims in India.”
“But you don’t look like a Muslim!”
“What does a Muslim look like?”
“I don’t know. Like an Arab?”
“Not all Muslims are Arab. Most Muslims aren’t Arab.”
“But you live in Saudi Arabia?”
“Yes.”
“Do you speak Arabic?”
“No.”
“Why not? I thought you said you live in Saudi Arabia.”
“We don’t live with Saudis in Saudi Arabia. It is not permitted by the Company my father works for. And, the American school in Saudi Arabia I go to—it doesn’t allow for Arabic to be taught there.”
“What language do you speak at home?”
“Urdu.”
“But Urdu is the language of Pakistan, not India.”
“Urdu is spoken in India.”
“Yes, yes, but if you are Urdu speaking that means you really belong to Pakistan.”
“But, my relatives live in India.”
“Did any of your parents live in Pakistan?”
“Yes. My father did, for a few years.”
“Then, that means you are Pakistani.”
“But I’ve never lived in Pakistan. I’ve only been there once.”
“That doesn’t matter. You are not Indian. You should say you are Pakistani.”