Confessions of the Adult Male and Female Virgin

1. “I’ll be 34 in a few months, and not only am I a virgin, I’ve never even kissed a girl before. I was home-schooled all through middle school and then put into public high school at the end of ninth grade because my parents wanted me to experience the social part of high school. It was a complete disaster. Everyone hated me; I never made any friends. So while most people have had relationships and experience during high school, I was a complete outcast and never got anywhere with anyone. There were people who thought I was gay. I ended up dropping out. During my twenties, life was quite hard. We moved around a lot, I never made any real friends, and I never got to know any woman long enough to develop a relationship. I decided to go to college and get a degree to better my life. There was one girl there I was interested in, but she was with someone else, so that never worked out. I finished college, got my degree and went to work. Eventually, they hired a woman I was interested in, and after talking to her, I finally managed the courage to ask her out. Now, keep in mind, I’m 29 at this point … asking a girl out for the first time in my life. I get rejected, and she actually slumps her head like she’s disappointed I would even ask the question. The years go by again, I start talking to another girl, and before I can even really formulate anything, she asks me if I’m interested in her, to which I respond in the positive, and she tells me she could never see me that way. Sigh … So now we come to last year. I find a girl who’s actually interested in me. But without going into detail, she turned out to be a bit crazy, and even though she ended up rejecting me before the relationship really started, I believe now I actually dodged a bullet. Despite having spent thousands to see her (we were in different states at the time), I am honestly happy now that it didn’t work out. So here I am, a 33-year-old, trying to find someone. Because I have come to the conclusion that I hate being alone. I want someone in my life!”

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2. “I have social anxiety problems, and between college and work, I have no time for a social life anyways. Even if I had time for a social life, it wouldn’t really work out anyways because I don’t share the same interests that most people do, and the only other people who share my interests also suffer from social anxiety problems. I’ve tried having an interest in what people in general do, like going to bars or parties and talking with them, but it’s just not working.”

 

3. “I’m a 28-year-old female, and I don’t give a f— about f—ing. It’s not like a hatred for relationships or anything, it’s just like … imagine a hobby that other people have, where you just aren’t interested in it at all. You don’t care to hear about it, to do it yourself, and you don’t see why people want to do it. It’s just not that fascinating to you. And before anyone asks, yes, I’ve gotten myself off before. It’s just okay.”

4. “I am a 24-year-old female virgin, not by choice. I thought for a while that it was because guys didn’t like me, but I’m now coming to terms with it probably being due to social anxiety and low self-esteem. I’ve never had a boyfriend, which shouldn’t make me feel like s—, but it does.”

5.  “I was 29 when I finally did the deed. The reason? I’m female, and I was absolutely convinced that every heterosexual man found me unattractive. Mostly because I was fat. So I lost weight, but I didn’t know I’d have sagging skin as a result. So I was still scared that men would find me unattractive. Also, once you get to a certain age, people will wonder what’s wrong with you if you’re still a virgin. Yes, even if you’re female. A lot of guys think that a girl is going to get super attached if she’s a virgin. Or they assume you’re prudish or super religious. (Neither applies to me.) As a result, when I lost my virginity (drunken one-night stand), I didn’t tell the guy because I was worried he might not want to sleep with me.”

6. “26-year-old virgin reporting. Honestly, I was never very social when I was young. Also, my parents were Muslim, and I wasn’t allowed to date. Some rebelled against it, but I remained a good boy (hate myself for it now). I wasn’t very popular with girls, so I’m not sure how much being rebellious would have helped. I sometimes consider losing it to a hooker, but I’m not sure about it.”

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7. “I am a woman, and I was almost a 40-year-old virgin. As to the why, well, lots of reasons. I grew up in a very strict and religious setting, so I didn’t have sex because of that. Then for years, it was lack of opportunity. All it takes is rejection at a critical time, and your self-esteem is nuked. By the time I was 30, I just assumed that no one would want to ever have sex with me, so I didn’t even bother. Next thing I knew, I was months away from turning 40, and I’d never experienced anything sexual other than kissing and having my ass or boobs grabbed through clothes. I decided I needed to do something about that, so I did. I met a guy through online dating, and we had sex. He had no idea I was a virgin at the time – I mean really, who’s a virgin at 40? Apparently enthusiasm does go a long way, and all that theoretical knowledge can be put to good use. We had sex a week before I turned 40.”

8.  “I’m a 30-year-old virgin male. I’m not sure where to begin. I was never able to form any lasting friendships. My family moved a lot where I was young, and I found a way to get bullied at every school I went to. It was so bad that some girls pretended to want to begin a relationship with me so as to get me to let my guard down. Next thing I knew, they were telling everyone about the latest awkward thing I attempted, and I would never hear the end of it. Nowadays, I have huge trust issues. I became an adult, but I’m really an eternal teenager. I do nothing but play video games outside of work, and every other hobby bores me to tears. Really, I don’t play games because I find them entertaining, but rather because it’s the only effective way I found to kill time. I can’t play sports due to chronic physical problems: because of an accident I had when I was 21, my back, my knees and my feet shoot up in pain if I exert myself. Doing so much as vacuuming my home has me needing to sit down and recover for a while. I visited a bunch of doctors, and most of them said, ‘There’s nothing you can do about it.’ I go out now and then, but I keep to myself. I never learned how to talk to girls. I don’t talk to people when I go out. I bring a book with me to read, and aside from that, my goal is to eat/drink something really good. Honestly, I’m terrified of pushing social interaction beyond mere acquaintance. I grew up with my entire social behavior scrutinized and used against me. I’ve kissed before, and it left me on the verge of having a panic attack. I can’t approach the subject of love/romance/relationships at all without over-thinking everything. I feel like I’m too mentally broken down to even consider the possibility that sex would happen to me at any point in my life.”

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9. “The gist of it is that I am 34, and I’ve never been on a date. It’s not for lack of trying. I honestly believe it’s due to the fact that I’m severely physically deformed, I’m in a wheelchair, and I have burn marks over most of my body, including my face. I don’t sit around feeling sorry for myself. I don’t sit in the basement making memes lamenting how women don’t go for ‘nice guys.’ I try to live my life. The fact is, though, that constant rejection and lack of human contact can really take its toll on someone, especially when it goes on for years and years at a time. People always like to say with a wave of their hand, ‘Oh, looks don’t matter. Don’t worry – someone is out there for you!’ before they go back on with their lives and don’t ever think about it again. Ooh! Ooh! I know! You just need to have a friendship and let it blossom from there! Okay, great. I would LOVE to have friends. Can you point me in the direction of some people who will actually be comfortable around me and not just be polite and count the minutes until the deformed guy who’s making everyone uncomfortable with his presence leaves? All in all, I’ve probably asked about 500 girls out on a date, and I haven’t had anyone say yes yet. This is where people’s advice of ‘just get yourself out there!’ makes me want to pull my hair out. No, I haven’t given up. Just because the first 500 said no doesn’t mean that 501 will also say no. However, getting generic advice from someone who has never been in that situation and doesn’t know (or care) about the intricacies of the situation does not make me feel better.”

10. “I’m a 26-year-old virgin. I don’t really have problems talking to girls, or to anyone for that matter. I get told I’m handsome, and people always ask me why I don’t have a girlfriend. Honest answer? I have no idea. I make girls laugh and generally have interesting conversations, but for some reason, I can never escalate it to sex. I’ve read and seen videos where people say you have to be more forward about wanting sex, but I can’t bring myself to do that. I often feel like there’s something seriously wrong with me.”