Computer Programming Jokes and Quotes

Best programming jokes and funny things programmers do

Most popular computer programming jokes
Most popular computer programming jokes

“Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.”
– Donald E. Knuth.

“Perl – The only language that looks the same before and after encryption.”
– Keith Bostic

“For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match.”
– Bill Bryson

“I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.”
– Bjarne Stroustrup

Chuck Noriss Jokes Only Programmers Will Understand

“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.”
– Rick Cook

“Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris.”
– Larry Wall

“There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.”
– C.A.R. Hoare