Changes in California Under Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • “Hooked on Accents” is implemented in school systems statewide.
  • Women’s buttocks must be minimally covered with a regular bikini bottom or Governor Arnold’s hand.
  • So many liberals flee the state that it actually lifts up out of the sea.
  • Swearing-in ceremony followed by an invitation-only executive-branch orgy.
  • Democrats suddenly develop a much deeper appreciation for the right to recall elected officials.
  • “Your incomes — give them to me.”
  • Gray Davis will be returned to the petrified forest from whence he came.
  • All female employees in the Statehouse are referred to as “Pat” and “Fanny.”
  • California Department of Food and Agriculture now classifies steroids as a vegetable.
  • As part of a “family first” agenda, he works to get dear ol’ Dad’s Nazi party back on the ballot.
  • The governor’s televised speeches have subtitles for those who speak Spanish and English.
  • Two words: flab tax
  • Statewide, the fourth Thursday in November is officially renamed “Danksgiffin.”
  • Not only kisses babies, but gropes their moms, too.