Pornhub SFW Christmas Ad For Horny and Lonely People

Have yourself a horny little Christmas this year with Pornhub Premium!

Pornhub is the largest porn video sharing website on the internet, released the tasteless ad dubbed a “unique take on the traditional holiday commerical” on YouTube.

The Pornhub ad, which is set to “Silent Night” features a custodian, a woman who misses her train, a security guard, a student, and an elderly man, all of whom are by themselves on Christmas.

In the 90-second video, various people settle in for what looks to be a dreary Christmas eve spent alone as melancholy holiday music sets the scene.

But the mood changes as Santa’s sleigh flies overhead and apparently unlocks a premium membership to the adult site for each of the dejected yuletide celebrants.

Their eyes light up with delight, and we’re led to presume that each passes the rest of the night away warmed by the soft glow of Pornhub Premium site  — though the ad never actually shows anything dirty.
Pornhub’s Vice President Corey Price said: ““We wanted our Christmas campaign to become a hallmark of the holiday season for the whole family.

“The commercial is a Christmas tale that takes place in a “magical” miniature city where some of its inhabitants, for one circumstance or another, are stuck spending Christmas Eve all alone. “Whether they’re working the late-shift, stood up for a Christmas dinner, at the dorm studying for exams, or have missed the last train home; Our protagonists are having a pretty bad night.

“Up to this point we could be watching a classic Coca-Cola or John Lewis holiday commercial, that is, of course, until a Christmas miracle happens and Santa saves them from the blues with the one thing that can truly cure a lonely night: Pornhub Premium.”

Ridiculous Insurance Claims You’d Never Believe

The Misuse of Phone Vibrator

Use Phone As A Vibrator

An unnamed woman in her late 20s from Bristol, UK, deserves particularly honorable mention in this insurance claim list.

Last year she claimed that the vibration function on her Blackberry Bold 9900 phone had stopped working – wait for it – while she was using it as an adult toy.

What Happened Next? Raucous laughter from inside the insurance claims office for several days.

 

The Insurance Fraud

The Insurance Fraud

A lawyer from North Carolina purchased a box of expensive cigars and insured them against flooding, storm damage and – of all things – fire.

Needless to say, his investment went up in smoke within a month – after which the lawyer filed a claim with his homeowners insurance company, stating that he was owed compensation because “the cigars were lost in a series of small fires”.
The insurer refused to pay, assuming  that the man had smoked the pack himself. A judge ruled, however, that since the insurer had never stated what was considered to be “unacceptable” fire, the company did, in fact, owe him $15,000 to replace his property.

What Happened Next? The insurance company paid the claim, but then had the lawyer arrested. He was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine for 24 counts of arson and insurance fraud.

 

Falling Coconuts

Falling Coconuts

People were falling off their chairs laughing when British travel agency Club Direct began issuing policies to cover injuries caused by falling coconuts.

Brent Escott, their managing director, cited statistics which show that 150 people – or ten times the number of victims from shark attacks – are killed every year by falling coconuts. There was some perception that perhaps Mr. Escott had been struck on the head.

That same year in Sri Lanka, a Club Direct customer was calmly sitting under a palm tree reading a book when a coconut fell on her head, knocking her out cold. She was duly hospitalized. Lucky.

What Happened Next? Insurance company paid out in full.

Flying Christmas Trees

Flying Christmas Trees

Mr. Fairclough was driving home from Christmas shopping, when he saw a car coming the other way with a Christmas tree badly tied to its roof.

This must have been a split second observation: no sooner had he seen it than the tree launched itself straight at him.

“He was driving too fast around a sharp bend and I saw the tree lift off and it flew straight at me. The trunk made a great dent in my bonnet and caused me to swerve off the road into a hedge.”

Mr Fairclough added: “The chap didn’t stop and he never came back for his tree, so the Police said we might as well have it. It wasn’t funny at the time, but looking back it was like a comedy sketch!” Nice.

 

Mouse in the Soup

Mouse in the Soup

Carla Patterson tried to tap a Virginia Cracker Barrel restaurant for a $500,000 insurance settlement after ‘discovering’ a mouse in her vegetable soup on Mother’s Day.

But the national chain investigated further, and found that the mouse had no soup in its lungs – and therefore had not been cooked. The jury believed that the only way the mouse could have appeared in the soup is if she’d put it there.

What Happened Next? One-year prison sentence for conspiracy to commit extortion (but she still maintains her innocence).

House and Car Insurance FAILED!

House and Car Insurance FAILED!

A man from Delaware torched his own home and his own convertible to collect on his homeowners and auto insurance.

Nicholas Di Puma said it all started when pans on his wood stove ignited while he was cooking. Then buckets of coals caught on fire. After trying to extinguish the inferno, Di Puma said he threw the first bucket out the door, where it apparently landed in the backseat of his convertible.

While en route to tossing the second pan outside, he tripped and the second landed on his sofa. Unbelievable? That’s what local law enforcement thought, too. Di Puma pleaded guilty to second and third degree attempted insurance fraud.

What Happened Next? Five-years probation, no insurance benefits. Home and car completely destroyed.

 

The Burning Bride!

The Burning Bride!

Some wedding days just don’t turn out the way you expect. Everything seemed to be going well on the day for Paula Catelli from Rimini, Italy, until her beautiful, hand-made wedding dress came slightly too close to the barbecue.

The synthetic material went up in flames immediately, and within moments Catelli was what no girl on her wedding day ever wants to be – a bride on fire.

Her loving husband saved the day by picking her up and throwing her into the sea. Fortunately, both bride and groom were excellent swimmers.

What Happened Next? The insurance company paid out 50% compensation for the disaster – possibly out of sympathy.

Never Kill Your Mom for Insurance

Never Kill Your Mom for Insurance

High living had left Chicago grain futures executive Marc Thompson deeply in debt. In desperation, he torched his home for the $730,000 in insurance money.

To make it appear a suicide, he led his 90-year-old mother Carmen downstairs, doused the basement with accelerant, and tossed the match.
Carmen Thompson’s Aug. 11, 2002, death by carbon monoxide poisoning and smoke inhalation must have seemed the perfect alibi. But federal agents continued to investigate the fire, and the truth emerged.
What kind of skunk would do this?

What Happened Next? Most definitely no insurance payout. Thompson’s own future is secure – for 190 years in federal prison.

Interesting Facts You Never Knew About Porn

You probably didn’t know these 25 interesting facts about porn. A new porn video is uploaded every 39th minute to fulfil the demands of the viewers.
Porn parody superman
1. The world’s biggest porn company is based out of Canada. The reasons are somewhat unclear, though given the stigma against porn in the US, despite the appetite for it, makes Canada a good place to set up shop.
2. 13,000 porn movies are produced each year. These movies bring around 13 Billion dollars of profit.
3. The overall earnings from porn is more than the earnings of sports and TV shows combined.
The overall earnings from porn is more than the earnings of sports and TV shows combined.
4. 30 million people are watching porn right at this moment.
30 million people are watching porn right at this moment.
5. The most popular Google search key word is “teen porn.”
6. In North Korea, watching porn is punishable up to the death sentence.
7. 50% of all of the internet is composed of is either porn or porn related content.
8. According to research done in Montreal College, most boys start watching porn at the age of 10.

Bad luck brian on porn
9. The number of daily pornography related searches in the USA is 68 million. This consists of 25% of all Google searches.
10. Male actors earn less money than female actresses. However, the situation is different for male actors who took part in gay porn. These actors earn three times more than the other actors.
11. The majority of porn movie productions are made in the USA, followed by Germany.
12. To be more exact, a porn movie is created every 39 minutes in the States.
13. 20% of working men have admitted checking pornographic content in the work place.
14. However, it is believed that the percentage is higher in reality. It is known that pornography access reaches its peak during work hours.
15. The majority (88.2%) of the highest ranking porn movies includes violence applied by the male actor.
16. Although it is hard to believe, men focus on women’s faces when they watch porn.
17. In England, the daily traffic on porn sites is more than social media, shopping and gaming web sites combined.
18. According to research, most teenagers learn about sex from watching porn.
19. Research shows that the majority of women watch porn, too. However, the number is not as high as the male audience.
20. It is believed that 10% of adults have an addiction to watching porn.

The internet : It's for porn
21. The sex industry is the most profitable industry of the world. This includes sex workers, strip clubs, phone sex and pornography.
22. While anti-pornography activists claim that watching porn can hurt current or future relationships, science doesn’t back up the allegation. The reason? It’s very hard to find men to study who have never watched porn.
23. While illegal to view in a number of countries around the world, hotels are generally given an exclusion, and are allowed to show porn in guest rooms.
24. 20% men watch porn while they are working. 25 to 30% of the viewers of online porn are women. Most interestingly, only 2% of the women pay for watching porn.
25. The female porn stars can get $600- $1000 per scene but the male stars get even less than $150.

Bonus: Pornstars to solve math problems while riding a Sybian.

How can you be that bad with math this simple?