Funny Texts (Page 6)

RELATIONSHIPS First of all, a man does not call a relationship. He refers to it as a romance, or a period of dating, of going out, or, in some unfortunate circumstances, “that time when me and Suzie were doing it on a semi-regular basis.” When a relationship ends, a woman will cry, and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled “All Men are Morons.” Then she will get on with her life. A man has a little more trouble letting go. For six months, his ex may not hear from him, but then, at three on Saturday night/SundayRead More →

The 9 Types of Boyfriends Joe Sensitive – “After I wash the dishes, let’s cuddle, OK?” Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy Old Man Grumpus – “People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let’s stay home and watch TV.” Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk Advantages: Stays put; predictable Disadvantages: Royal pain in the ass Flinchy – “I–I’m sorry for whatever it was I did.” Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrendersRead More →

1. The toilet is of the standard Zero-gravity type. Depending on requirements, system A and/or system B can be used, details of which are clearly marked in the toilet compartment. When operating system A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron eliminator will be dispensed thorough the slot immediately underneath. When you have fastened the adhesive lib, attach to connection marked by the large “X” outlet hose. Twist the silver coloured ring one inch below the connection point until you feel it lock. 2. The toilet is now ready for use. The Sonovac cleanser is activated by the small switch on the lip. When securing, twistRead More →