HOW TO BECOME SATAN! That’s right, you can be the owner of one of the “hottest” jobs around, and have a great time, too! Being the Lord Of Flies is a job with many responsibilities, but with this great offer, you can soon be on your way to controlling the bleak land of eternal torment! Look at some of the perks that await you…. * Sending nubile young virgins to their death, for NO other reason then for sexual playthings in an orgy that lasts FOREVER! * Having NO worries or threats of unions, dethronement, bills, or plumbing in your new occupation! * Meeting famousRead More →

F.L.K.: “Funny-looking Kid.” Usually a mongoloid. F.L.P.: Parents of an F.L.K. CRUMP, GORK, VEDGY: A patient requiring intensive care, incapable of movement, and CROCK: Hypochondriac. MARRIAGEABLE MONSTER: A young female patient who has successfully undergone major plastic surgery. GOMER: A senile, messy, or highly unpleasant patient. FASCINOMA: A “fascinating” tumor; any interesting or amusing malignancy. DROOLER: A catatonic patient. CUT AND PASTE: To open a patient, discover that there is no hope, and immediately sew him up. Well, almost immediately. Sometimes young surgeons practice surgical techniques for a while first. FOUR F-ER: A gallbladder patient. “Fat, forty-ish, flatulent female.” PINKY CHEATER: Latex finger cover usedRead More →

1. Your friends tell you that you have been acting strange lately, and then you hit them several times with a sledgehammer. 2. Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places that you wouldn’t expect tentacles to be growing from. 3. You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom. 4. You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends you mail from Iowa asking why you never write. 5. Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to relieve yourself on it. 6. You wear your boxers on your headRead More →