1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. 3. Aren’t you that guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must have been doin’ at least 120 mph to keep up with me…Good job! 5. Didn’t I see you get your ass kicked on COPS? 11. Excuse me…is stick up hyphenated? 12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend’s nightstand. 13. Is it true that people become cops because they’re too dumb to work at McDonald’s? 14. I pay your salary! 15. So, uh,Read More →

Application for Arkansas governer First name: ______________________ Last name(if known):______________ Address (where you live):__________________________________________ Mother’s name_____________________ (also relation, i.e., sister) Birthdate(yours):__________________ Father’s name:_____________________ (if known, if not, list choices) Color of neck: Light Red ( ) Medium Red( ) Dark Red ( ) No Neck ( ) Year of pickup truck:_____________ List all that you have in your truck: Fuzzy Dice( ) Gun Rack( ) Coon Tail( ) Filled ash tray( ) Dead Road Kill( ) Dog of Unknown Breed( ) Have you ever been to a large city? (Like Little Rock) Yes ( ) No ( ) How far can you throw cow pies?____Read More →

City of Los Angeles Los AngelesHigh School Math Proficiency Exam Name:____________________ Gang:________________________ 1. Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload? 2. If Jose has two ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn’t cut it? 3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the priceRead More →