Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack. 1970 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack… 2012 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. Scenario 2: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school. 1970 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2012 – PoliceRead More →

SERVICE: "Ridge Hall computer assistance, may I help you?" CUSTOMER: "Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect." SERVICE: "What sort of trouble?" CUSTOMER: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." SERVICE: "Went away?" CUSTOMER: "They disappeared." SERVICE: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" CUSTOMER: "Nothing." SERVICE: "Nothing?" CUSTOMER: "It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type." SERVICE: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" CUSTOMER: "How do I tell?" SERVICE: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" CUSTOMER: "What’s a sea prompt?" SERVICE: "Never mind, can you moveRead More →

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’ trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. 3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow ‘remove’ all the germs. 4. ELBONICS (el bon’ iks) n. TheRead More →