1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. 2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. 3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. 4. The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing. 5. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. 6. There are more chickens than people in the world. 7. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey. 8. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is Screeched. 9. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament     buildings is an American flag. (Though the bill’sRead More →

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only aRead More →

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often. 3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before. 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 8. A person who is nice toRead More →