Funny text messages

In case of fire you hav 2 read this msg







… Stupid I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE!!

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I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go

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Excess of everything is bad and excessive use of alcohol can you lead to a pregnancy

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ulfat ke darap pe furakat ka yu sharmana ulfat ke darap pe furkat ka yu sharmana upar vali lines samajh me aa jaye to mujhe jarur batana

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30 percent of the people is now drinking coffee, 40 percent is studying, 29 percent is watching movie and one duffer is now holding his mobile in his hand.

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Be nice to the people who smoke cigarette, any cig might b their last cigarette.

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A Beautiful Grl Goes 2 Skin Doctor & Said: Mujy Nhanay Sy Phly Kia Lgana Chahiy..?

Doc: Bathroom Ke Kundi.

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Aj Ke taza khabar:
Ik bath room main,
Ik boy ny,
Ik girl ky jism ko,
Hr gagah sy touch kia,
Pta hay wo boy kon tha ?
.
.
.
.
. …LIFE BOY…

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How much time U Spend on the Internet

1.    You find yourself typing `com` after every period when using a word processor.com
2.    You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
3.    Your start introducing yourself as `John at I-I-Net dot com.`
4.    Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
5.    All of your friends have an @ in their name.
6.    You can`t call your mother – she doesn`t have a modem.
7.    Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
8.    You laugh at people with 2400 modems.
9.    You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
10.    You refer to going to the bathroom as [downloading].
11.    You tell the cab driver you live at:
12.    Your spouse makes a new rule: `The computer cannot come to bed.`
13.    You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.
14.    You start tilting your head sideways to smile :-).
15.    You turn on your computer and turn off your spouse.
16.    Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat…”

Stupid questions That Need To Be Resolved

The Dumbest Questions Ever Asked
The Dumbest Questions Ever Asked

1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

3. Why can’t woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
“hi, my name’s Bob. I’m an alcoholic”?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say “I think i’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?

11. What do people in China call their good plates?

12. If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They’re both dogs.

14. What do you call male ballerinas?

15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn’t he buy his dinner?

17. Thats stupid. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?