Amazing Quotations

  • An excellent plumber is infinitely more admirable than an incompetent philosopher. The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity, will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water. — John W. Gardner (1912-2002)
  • Money is nothing more or less than a commodity to be used wisely for the greatest possible personal and family benefit. Its value lies not in what it is, but in what it can do. — Unknown
  • The eyes shout what the lips fear to say. — Will Henry [Henry Wilson Allen] (1912-1991)
  • Don’t spit in a well. You might want to drink from it. — Scottish Proverb
  • Warum so einfach wenn es so schõn kompliziert geht? Why be so simple when complexity is so beautiful? — German Maxim
  • The average reader is more interested in fun than in intellectual pursuits. — William A. Katz (1924-2004)
  • The most complicated task today is finding a way to live a simple life. — W. A. Nance
  • He who lowers himself to the level of others realizes only then how tall he once stood. — Jeck
  • We live in a world of unused and misapplied knowledge and skill. — H. G. Wells (1866-1946)
  • Bigness is constantly confused with virtue. — Peter Gellatly (1969)
  • Live in the past; it’s cheaper. Live in the future; it’s better. — Magazine Ad
  • Education in the West, particularly higher education in America, has lost the ability to see the universe from very far away. — Charles Van Doren (1926- )
  • Novel: A prose narrative of some length that has something wrong with it. — Randell Jarrell (1914-1965)
  • A writer begins and ends with language. — Unknown
  • Sorrow is too great to exist in small hearts. — Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
  • The strongest memory is weaker than the palest ink. — Chinese Proverb
  • English is a funny language. A fat chance and a slim chance are the same thing. — Jack Herbert
  • An old mountain man’s prayer: "Lord, I don’t ask for a faith that would move yonder mountain. I can take enough dynamite and move it, if it needs movin’. I pray, Lord, for enough faith to move me." — Norman Allen
  • The peoples’ Winter will pass away, and then comes the beautiful Spring, and the flowers must surely bloom in the fields, and the brooks will again leap in the valleys. — Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
  • Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love. — Erich Fromm (1900-1980)
  • Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity. — Horace Mann (1796-1859)
  • We are the sons of Sorrow; we are the poets and the prophets and the musicians. — Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
  • See deep enough, and you see musically; the heart of Nature being everywhere music, if you can only reach it. — Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)
  • Life is weaker than Death and Death is weaker than Truth. — Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)

  • Thought, true labor of any kind, highest virtue itself, is it not the daughter of Pain? — Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)
  • The very strength that protects the heart from injury is the strength that prevents the heart from enlarging to its intended greatness within. — Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
  • ‘Tis sweet to feel by what fine-spun threads our affections are drawn together. — Laurence Sterne (1713-1768)
  • Parting is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell. — Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
  • What is dignity… what is appearance, if it keeps us from talking together? — Ray Hill
  • The function of the expert is not to be more right than other people, but to be wrong for more sophisticated reasons. — David Butler (1924- )
  • The height of embarrassment is when two sets of eyes meet through a keyhole. — Unknown
  • No matter how busy a man is, he is never too busy to stop and talk about how busy he is. — Unknown
  • It is with narrow-souled people as with narrow-necked bottles: the less they have in them, the more noise they make pouring it out. — Alexander Pope (1688-1744)
  • If a man desires to live a great life, let him remember that evil is always necessary. — Roy L. Smith
  • The part of a man’s religion which is convenient, that he’ll never drop. — A. A. Horn
  • It is not true that men prefer foolish women. Rather they prefer women who can simulate foolishness whenever necessary, which is the very core of intelligence. — Paul Eldridge (1888-1982)
  • Any fool can have bad luck; the art consists in knowing how to exploit it. — Frank Wedekind (1864-1918)
  • Whenever you hear the word "inevitable", watch out! An enemy of humanity has identified himself. — Stephen Vizinczey (1933- )
  • The greatest educational dogma is also its greatest fallacy: the belief that what must be learned can necessarily be taught. — Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986)
  • The devil does a nice business for such a lousy location. — D. Bennett
  • Too great a sense of identity makes a man feel he can do no wrong. And too little does the same. — Djuna Barnes (1892-1982)
  • Not blind opposition to progress, but opposition to blind progress. — Sierra Club Slogan
  • Leopards! Be ready for a spot check! — Graffiti
  • A rut is a grave with both ends open. — Carol Hicks
  • Science has made us gods before we are worthy of being men. — Jean Rostand (1894-1977)
  • Science has promised us truth an understanding of such relationships as our minds can grasp; it has never promised us either peace or happiness. — Gustave Le Bon (1841-1931)
  • One holds his job by knowing how. One becomes boss by knowing why. — Perry Tanksley
  • Bad administration can destroy good policy; but good administration can never save bad policy. — Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
  • Pornography is writing that seeks primarily, even exclusively, to bring about sexual stimulation. This can be done crudely or delicately. In the former case it would be bad literature; in the latter good. — Kenneth Tynan (1927-1980)

  • The richest and most powerful society in history, called to responsibility, if not leadership, in the spherical, scientific, social[ized], secular, dynamic, crowded, and contentious world promised us by the twenty-first century, must develop the facilities for knowing that world as completely as possible. Of these our libraries form not the least important element. — Mortimer Graves (1893-1987)
  • Dog Diary and Cat Diary

    Excerpts from a Dog’s diary:
    8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:00 PM – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
    1:30 PM – ooooooo. bath. bummer.
    4:00 PM – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

    Excerpts from a Cat’s diary:
    DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
    the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
    DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed.
    DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
    good little cat I was…Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
    DAY 768 – I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
    liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

    DAY 771 – There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
    DAY 774 – I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time……

    I don’t understand when…

    1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

    2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

    3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

    4. When people say "it’s always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

    5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

    6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"…. Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

    7. When something is ‘new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn’t be new.

    8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?

    9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?