Funny Texts

1. INTRODUCTION Worldwide controversy has been generated recently from several court decisions in the United States which have restricted popular magazines from printing articles which describe how to make an atomic bomb. The reason usually given by the courts is that national security would be compromised if such information were generally available. But, since it is commonly known that all of the information is publicly available in most major metropolitan libraries, obviously the court’s officially stated position is covering up a more important factor; namely, that such atomic devices would prove too difficult for the average citizen to construct. The United States courts cannot affordRead More →

ALF Space Log Entry 684.1 2:45 P.M. Los Angeles, Cal. Earth Dear Space Log, As I make yet another entry in my journal, I look back through the mustard and gravy stains of my past entries and sincerely hope that these chronicles are not written in vain. It is my wish someday that they’ll fall into the right hands and I’ll get a huge advance for the publishing and movie rights. Hard to believe that it’s been more than two years since my spaceship landed on Earth. Although, technically, it wasn’t really a landing. Landings are made right side up at less than Mach 2,Read More →

HOW TO BECOME SATAN! That’s right, you can be the owner of one of the “hottest” jobs around, and have a great time, too! Being the Lord Of Flies is a job with many responsibilities, but with this great offer, you can soon be on your way to controlling the bleak land of eternal torment! Look at some of the perks that await you…. * Sending nubile young virgins to their death, for NO other reason then for sexual playthings in an orgy that lasts FOREVER! * Having NO worries or threats of unions, dethronement, bills, or plumbing in your new occupation! * Meeting famousRead More →