Cucumbers left on the floor of the new Fifty shades darker premiere

The ladies who went see the film brought some healthy snack options, but when they saw the popcorn they couldn’t resist and left their shitty health snack on the floor.

Even though you wouldn't get pregnant from a cucumber, it could put some nasty bacterial cultures inside of you and cause health problems.
Why are the wrappers still on the cucumbers?

These were planted by someone, either to drum up publicity or as an ill-devised prank.

  1. Nobody in their right mind would use those with the plastic on.
  2. The seats are completely free of any stains.
  3. If someone’s intention was to masturbate during a movie, they’d bring their own tools.
  4. We’re supposed to believe that two women had the very same idea, and that they just happened to be sitting next to each other?
  5. Barring that, we’re supposed to believe that two women who are comfortable masturbating next to each other are both ignorant of clitoral stimulation

Just Standard Pussy Energy Drink Advertisement

Given the nonchalant cradle of his “hover board,” this guy probably needs a snorkel considering how much pussy he drinks.

The fact that you're carrying a hoverboard determines that is a lie
He doesn’t look like someone who would be interested in pussy

The guy who runs this company started it out of his dad’s house and would hand deliver the drink to clubs himself when he first started. It’s now sold in lots of stores in the UK despite even being banned from advertising itself for having a sexually explicit name.

Beware: Snow shoveling scam

It will be snowing again soon and I wanted to warn you of this latest scam.

You should be on the lookout for this pair in case they appear in your area.

They showed up offering to shovel snow from my driveway for $20.

Not ten minutes into the job they were at my door complaining about being cold..
They said they wanted to come in to my house and get warm for a while.

Well, three hours later, they ended up leaving without finishing the
driveway!

I didn’t get anything done around the house because I was afraid
to take my eyes off of them. I’m just glad my wife wasn’t at home to see me
taken in by this scam. I’d never hear the end of it.

Don’t let it happen to you!

Fortunately, I took their picture before they left. If one of these appear on
your doorstep, don’t say you weren’t warned!

See below:
Snow Shoveling Scam