Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding.
The cop asks Heisenberg “Do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg replies, “No, but we know exactly where we are!”
The officer looks at him confused and says “you were going 108 miles per hour!”
Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now we’re lost!”
The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.
“A cat,” Schrödinger replies.
The cop opens the trunk and yells “Hey! This cat is dead.”
Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well he is now.”
In a small town in America, a person decided to open up his bar
business, which was right opposite to a church. The church & its
congregation started a campaign to block the bar from opening with
petitions and prayed daily against his business.
Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to
open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the bar and it was
burnt to the ground. The church folk were rather smug in their outlook
after that, till The bar owner sued the church authorities for
$2million on the grounds that the church through its congregation &
prayers was ultimately responsible For the demise of his bar shop,
either through direct or indirect actions or means.
In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all
responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to
the bar shop’s demise. In support of their claim they referred to the
Benson study at Harvard that inter-cessionary prayer had no impact !
As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the
paperwork and at the hearing and commented: Continue reading “A Funny Hypocrite Situation”
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, ‘Things are great and I’ve never felt better.’
‘I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.’
‘so what do you think about that Doctor?’
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.
‘I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.’
‘As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver siting at the waters edge…’
‘He realized he’d left his gun at home and so he couldn’t the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it right at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went ‘bang bang’.’
‘Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.
Now what do you think about that?’ asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said, ‘Logic would strongly suggest that someone else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.’
The doctor replied, ‘My point exactly.’