Only in America – America’s got Plenty

Remember always, that all of us, and you and I especially, are descended from immigrants and revolutionists. In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

The Proper Way to Shorten America
Man: If you don’t like how we do things heer’n murica then you ken GIT OUT!!
  1. You see an overweight kid eating 2 ice creams, a soda, and a cookie. Only in America.
  2. Half of the population owns a gun. Only in America.
  3. “God created war so that Americans could learn geography.” -Mark Twain
  4. How do you get 500 Americans into a box of donuts?
    Tell them there’s only a few left.
  5. It’s called the American dream because you have to be dreaming to believe it.
  6. What shall we do to prevent illegal immigration? “BUILD A WALL!”  President Donald Trump
  7. An American is hospitalized due to a heart attack. He dies because he didn’t have health insurance.
  8. “You can always count on Americans to do the right thing — after they’ve tried everything else.” -Winston Churchill
  9. The Obesity Burger with a side of Diabetes Soda, please.” -Lots of People
  10. Guns. The only part of the American economy that’s still growing.

Microsoft Windows Password Must Meet Complexity Requirements

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER : IWillHuntYouDown50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

Worst Joke in the History of the World

In 1957, several cities were vying to host the 1964 Winter Olympics. Candidates had been eliminated to the point where the only two left were Singapore and Nevers, France. The French venue had an obvious advantage for the games, but the Singaporeans were eager to host the games in their country, so they developed a snow-making machine. Because of technical glitches, the machine produced snow only part of the time. The rest of the time it produced steam, and you can’t ski on steam. So they made a last-ditch effort to perfect the machine, knowing that the deadline for a decision from the committee was nigh. To bring moral support and entertainment to the workers, they brought in Elvis Presley, who mounted the stage and said, “Well, today’s the day your machine must produce snow. If it belches out steam, the games will go to France. So this is it. It’s snow, or Nevers.”