Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A; None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men? A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. Q: How do you fix a women’s watch? A: You don’t. There’s a clock on the oven. Q: Why do men pass more gas than women do? A: Because women don’t shutRead More →

1) There are three things in a man’s life that will always irk him: 1) Not chasing his dreams, 2) His finances, and, in a close 3rd) beginning to date a girl and finding out her birthday is in like 3 weeks. 2) Ladies: You want to make a man upset by telling him he has a small penis? Convince him you have a small penis. That’s far worse. 3) Having a girlfriend is like getting a free 12 month subscription to a magazine. It’s a blast until you have to start paying for it and all it does is leave a mess on andRead More →

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills, If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time, If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can face the world without lies and deceit, If you can conquer tension without medical help,Read More →