0 to 200 in 6 seconds

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Smart Blonde Woman

Smart Blonde Joke
Smart Blonde Joke

A smart blonde woman is driving along a country road, out in rolling hills of the Midwest, when she sees some movement off in the distance. As she gets closer, she realizes that it is another blonde woman in a rowboat in the middle of a field rowing the boat like crazy.

She stops her car at the side of the road and gets out. She yells out to the blonde in the rowboat, “What the &$%# are you doing?” The blonde in the boat, obviously flustered, yells back, “I have got to hurry up and get home in time for dinner or I will be in real trouble!”

The blonde at the side of the road is aggravated. “I can’t believe this! You are out in the middle of a field in a row boat! It’s blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! In fact, if I could swim, I would swim out there and kick your butt!”

Please God try to explain women

Do Not Try To Understand Women
Do Not Try To Understand Women

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions. Please God try to explain women?

“Sure,” GOD says, “Go right ahead”.

“OK,” the man says. “Why did you make women so pretty?”

GOD says, “So you would like them.”

“OK,” the guy says. “But how come you made them so beautiful?”

“So you would LOVE them”, GOD replies.

The man ponders a moment and then asks, “But why did you make them such airheads?”

GOD says, “So they would love you!”