Best Star Wars Jokes and Puns

Q: Why is Yoda such a good gardener?

A: Because he has a green thumb.

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Q: And why can’t you count on his to pick up the tab?

A: Because he’s always a little short.

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Q: How do you get down from a bantha?

A: You don’t. You get down from a goose.

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Q: What did the specter of Obi Wan Kenobi say to the bartender?

A: “Give me a beer and a mop.”

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Jabba the Hut is fat.

How fat is he?

So fat, Obi Wan took a closer look and said, “that’s no moon.”

 

Star Wars NavajoTristan Ahtone/FronterasEpisode II: Bar Wars

 

The Star Wars text crawl walks into a bar.

“Get outta my pub!” the bartender yells. “We don’t serve your type here.”

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Luke walks into the Mos Eisley cantina, cradling a slab of dirt in his arms.

“What’ll it be?” asks the barman.

“A pint for me, and one for the road.”

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The Death Star’s shield generator walks into a bar. The bartender scowls and says, “Alright pal, I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

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An Ewok strolls into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a whisky and …… soda.”

The bartender says, “Sure thing—but why the little pause?”

“Dunno,” says the Ewok. “I’ve had them all my life.”

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A clone trooper walks into a pub and asks the barman, “Hey, have you seen my brother?”

“I dunno,” says the barman, “What does he look like?”

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Two Jawas walk under a bar.

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Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke’s still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, “Use the forks, Luke.

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A Hutt slithers into the food court. The cashier says, “Hey! We have a pizza place named after you!”

The Hutt says, “You have a pizza place named Jabba Desilijic Tiure?”

 

Episode III: If Darth Vader’s Final Words Were Dad Jokes

 

“Luke… I’m reading a great book about Force levitation… I can’t put it down.”

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“Luke…did you know I almost joined the Jedi Debate Team? …Somebody talked me out of it.”

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“Luke…did you know R2D2 used to work for me? …He asked to be paid under the table.”

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“Luke… I just watched a great documentary about how the Death Star was built… It was riveting, Luke. It was riveting…