Best one-liners that support atheism

  • God says everyone has to worship him for all eternity. What kind of self-centered egomaniac demands that?
  • What did Satan do? He stood up for himself. He said he wasn’t going to give in to God’s demand to be worshiped. How is that a crime?
  • What happened to the three day old babies when the flood of Noah came? Don’t envision a worldwide flood—hold in your mind the image of a single crib with a single baby, slowly drowned by the cold, dark waters. What could that child have possibly done?
  • Original sin? You mean holding people guilty for things over which they have no control. How is that remotely just?
  • God made us in his image? What is more likely: that, or that we made him in our image? The god of the Bible is self-admittedly petty, jealous, and vengeful—just like we are. Is it not more probable that we made him in our image?
  • Do you think slavery is okay? The bible supports it. It says you can have slaves as long as you don’t gouge out their eyes or break their teeth. Yeah, that makes it moral.
  • The bible says that you are to kill those who attempt to lead you away from God. I admit that right now, I am trying to undermine your faith and turn you into an atheist. Kill me. Do it. I won’t even defend myself. Why aren’t you?
  • Moses tells his soldiers to rape the virgin daughters of their enemy. Do you support this?
  • Jesus said “let he who is without sin cast the first stone”. Why are so many Christian so damn judgmental then?
  • Muslims believe theirs is the one true god too. And that they will go to heaven. And that anyone of another religion will go to hell. These are all things you believe too. How are you any different from them?
  • Which is more likely, that Mary conceived as a virgin, or that Joseph knocked her up. Billions of people have gotten pregnant the old fashion way—which is more likely here?
  • What happens to the billions of people who never even hear of your path to salvation? How is sending them to hell for all eternity merciful or just when they have no choice in the matter?
  • You hold roughly the same religious beliefs as your parents and your country. So does 99% of everyone else in every other religion. What’s more likely, that yours is the one true religion, or that we all just get brainwashed into our parents belief system?
  • How do you know the bible is true? Name one thing that it says that could not have been written by uneducated desert tribesmen 2,000 years ago. The cures for polio and small pox, for example, can be written in just a few pages. Why doesn’t the bible contain anything like that?
  • Some Christians argue that the New Testament made the Old Testament obsolete. Does this mean you’re willing to abandon the whole creationism farce and acknowledge that evolution is fact?
  • Why do believers not regrow limbs? Surely some of our heroes coming home from war with missing body parts are true believes, from believing families, from pious communities. Why can not a single amputee with such a strong belief regrow a limb, or have some other miracle that would in no way be explainable by science?
  • What would it take to convince you to become a Hindu? A Muslim? A Jew? A Sikh? These religions are thoroughly unconvincing, aren’t they? I simply feel the same about your religion. How are your talking snake, pregnant virgin, blood sacrifice ritual (communion), or zombie claims (Jesus’ resurrection) any different?
  • Why do communities, states, and nations with higher rates of religious belief also have worse indicators of quality of life and societal good. For example, the Deep South of the US is known to be very religious. Why does it have higher rates of crime, domestic violence, infant mortality, and other such social indicators? Same for, say, pious Central America versus Western Europe.
  • Why do I need to believe in god in order to be amazed at the wonder of nature? Can’t I just believe it’s beautiful without having to believe there is some sky daddy at the bottom of it all.
  • If religion is necessary for morality, then why do organizations like the National Academy of Sciences, whose members are over 95% atheist, have so few members committing crimes?
  • Why aren’t Christian funerals big parties? If you truly believe you’re all going to heaven after you die, why is it not a massive celebration? Why are Christians not all taking up base jumping and volunteer fire fighting?
  • The bible says that it is an abomination for a man to lie with another man. The very next verse says that the penalty for doing so is death. Do you advocate the death penalty for homosexuality?
  • No, damn it, Hitler was a Catholic, not an atheist. Please do your research before using that one again. But I don’t blame Catholicism for what Hitler did, any more than I blame atheism for what Stalin and Mao did. Mad men can be mad for reasons far beyond religion.
  • As an atheist, I’m just like you—I’m kind to others, I love my family, I continually try to be a better person. I just don’t need the threat of hell or promise of heaven to do it.
  • As an atheist, I too try to live by the Golden Rule, but I don’t need a god or an ancient text to see the wisdom of the rule. I do unto others as I’d have done to me because I know this is the right thing to do, and it makes me happy when I do.
  • As an atheist, I agree that it is not enough to just say what you’re against. That’s why I am also a Secular Humanist. Other atheists may hold different positive views, but we are more than just anti-religious.
  • As an atheist, I enjoy sex to its fullest. Particularly in my single years! As long as everyone consents (including my spouse once married, if polyamory happens to be our thing), then I don’t have to worry about the opinion of a god or his threats to my eternal disposition.
  • As an atheist, I don’t give up 10% of my income year over year, meaning I can retire 5 years earlier.
  • As an atheist, I deal with death by telling the people I love that I love them every chance I get. That way when they or I go, the one who survives can have the peace of knowing that we loved each other to the fullest.