1. In the beginning…
You have to force yourself to abstain from eating your favorite junk food. Driving by McDonald’s is like driving by your ex’s house, but way, way worse.
2. You have to figure out how to use the gym equipment. You could just ask someone, but unfortunately, that would involve, you know, asking someone.
3. You realize that maintaining a steady jogging pace is not nearly as easy as video game characters make it out to be.
4. Everything hurts. So. Much. Can you please pick up the quarter I just dropped? I think I’ll die if I attempt it myself.
5. You are constantly on a motivational roller coaster. Today will be the day I do seventy consecutive push-ups, and tomorrow will be the day I watch thirteen consecutive episodes of ‘Breaking Bad.’
6. Your reality laughs in the face of your expectations. Of course I wasn’t expecting a six-pack in one week, but it’s the end of week three and my abs are getting impatient here.
7. There’s so much information out there and your brain can’t process it all. The only thing I am 100% sure of is that I should be drinking lots of water. BUT NOT TOO MUCH. But lots.
8. Your friends might support your decision to get healthy, but you can tell they don’t *really* believe that you’ll follow through. No, really! I’ve done research and bought healthy food at the grocery store (and ate most of it before it went bad) and broke a legitimate sweat twice this week!
9. In the middle… The composition of it is about 70% workout clothes and 30% partially dried sweat.
10. You are considered “that friend” that subsists primarily on green things and low-fat sources of protein. Keep your HATERADE out of my spinach smoothie.